{"id":311,"date":"2009-01-11T11:05:01","date_gmt":"2009-01-11T01:05:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/nightwolflayouts.wordpress.com\/2009\/01\/11\/36-rules-of-life\/"},"modified":"2009-01-11T11:05:01","modified_gmt":"2009-01-11T01:05:01","slug":"36-rules-of-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nightwolfsden.com\/blog\/2009\/01\/11\/36-rules-of-life\/","title":{"rendered":"36 Rules of Life"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Found this over at Holly<\/a>\u2019s blog while cleaning up my saved bloglines & just thought I\u2019d share \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The 36  Rules of Life:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Don\u2019t worry about what people think, they don\u2019t do it very often.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Going to church doesn\u2019t make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you\u2019ve never tried before.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

8. A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

16. A balanced diet is a muffin in each hand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

19. Junk is something you\u2019ve kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

24. Someone who thinks logically provides nice contrast to the real world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

25. It ain\u2019t the jeans that make your butt look fat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

26. If you had to identify in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved its full potential, that word would be \u2018meetings.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

27. There is a very fine line between \u2018hobby\u2019 and \u2018mental illness.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

28. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with  them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

29. You should not confuse your career with your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

30. Nobody cares if you can\u2019t dance well. Just get up and dance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

31. Never lick a steak knife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

32. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

33. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

34. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she\u2019s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment<\/p>\n\n\n\n

35. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that deep down inside we ALL believe we are good drivers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

36. Your friends love you anyway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Have a great day!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Found this over at Holly\u2019s blog while cleaning up my saved bloglines & just thought I\u2019d share \ud83d\ude42 The 36  Rules of Life: 1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. Don\u2019t worry about what people think, they don\u2019t do it very often. 3. Going to … Continue reading “36 Rules of Life”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wprm-recipe-roundup-name":"","wprm-recipe-roundup-description":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-311","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nightwolfsden.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/311","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nightwolfsden.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nightwolfsden.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nightwolfsden.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nightwolfsden.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=311"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/nightwolfsden.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/311\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nightwolfsden.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=311"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nightwolfsden.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=311"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nightwolfsden.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=311"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}