Awareness – Nightwolf's Den

IDAHOBIT

On May 17 we acknowledge IDAHOBIT as a day for our communities to go rainbow, and stand up against discrimination. Whether you’re part of the LGTBQIA+ community or you’re an ally – today we stand together.

What is IDAHOBIT?
International Day Against Homophobia, Biphobia and Transphobia (IDAHOBIT) is observed on May 17 and aims to coordinate international events that raise awareness of LGBT rights violations and stimulate interest in LGBT rights work worldwide.

But why May 17? This date commemorates the anniversary the World Health Organisation removed homosexuality from the International Classification of Diseases in 1990. Prior to this, homosexuality was classified globally as a mental illness.

That’s only 33 short years ago.

As recently as 1997, being gay was illegal in some parts of Australia – and until just five years ago, same-sex marriage was not recognised in our country. While we have certainly come a long way in the advancements of LGBTQIA+ equity, the unfortunate reality is that these milestones are very recent in our experience.

With this in mind, IDAHOBIT has two main purposes.

Today is an opportunity to celebrate the pride and allyship of the people who have worked to build equality around the world.
And to raise awareness of the discrimination LGBTQIA+ people still face today.

Australia-wide research conducted by La Trobe University highlights the prevalence of discrimination still occuring around our country:

2 in 3 LGBTQIA+ youth experience harassment or abuse due to their identity. That’s 66% of our young people.

But discrimination of this kind is not contained to the classroom.

A study of almost 7,000 LGBTQIA+ people of all ages in Australia found that 1 in 3 people have experienced verbal abuse in the past 12 months because of their identity. This includes insults, humiliation and threats, just for being who they are.

It’s worth repeating again. One third of LGBTQIA+ people have experienced verbal abuse in the last 12 months.

When it comes to creating a world where everyone is safe to be themselves – there’s still work for us to do.

We need safe spaces where LGBTQIA+ people belong that are inclusive for everyone.

We can donate to places like Minus18, who do so much great work for our LGBTQIA+ youth.

IDAHOBIT is coordinated by Minus18, Australia’s charity for LGBTQIA+ young people across the country. You can find out more about the day, and discover information about identity and inclusion through the website www.IDAHOBIT.org.au. Check it out, there’s lots for us to learn.

Together, we can build a world without discrimination, today and every day of the year.

Afternoon Teal 2016

This past Saturday we held our annual Afternoon Teal event. This year it was Cheers for 5 Years, an Afternoon Teal at Braehead. Why Cheers for 5 Years? This year marks 5 years since mum’s surgery. In Australia, the overall five year survival rate for women diagnosed with ovarian cancer is 43%. In comparison, the overall five year survival rate for women diagnosed with breast cancer is 89%. Big difference. So it’s a big celebration year.

We had a lovely afternoon ….

and some seriously yummy food ….

There was a silent auction and I must thank some amazing people for donating – Rabbit Hole Organic Tea, Personal Planner, Little Finch, Flat Out Bottles, Popping Candy Shoes, Your Inspiration at Home, Braehead Crafts, and Hillwood Coffee Shop.

Speaking of the Hillwood Coffee Shop, they have been amazing and are hosting out 1000 ribbon challenge. The aim of the challenge is to sell 1000 ribbons for a gold coin donation and add them to our wall. So far we are just over 400. If you would like to donate and have a ribbon (or 2) added, please get in contact and I’ll send you my paypal. I’ll send you a photo of me adding your ribbon to our wall.

The finally tally is yet to come in but at the end of the day we had gone over my $2000 target. My donation page is still open if you wish to add to the total 😉

Scrap Teal You Drop 2014

Ovarian Cancer Australia invites groups and individuals around Australia host an Afternoon Teal® – a summer tea party for a great cause! Raising awareness of the symptoms, risks and impact of ovarian cancer, as well as raise vital funds to support their work in awareness, support, advocacy and research .

For the last two years mum & I have organised an Afternoon Teal® event called Scrap Teal You Drop. This year we organised a full day event and spent a couple of months planning and organising, sourcing donations for our raffles and supplies for our scrapbooking challenges.

We received some AMAZING donations from private individuals meaning those who have no scrapping ‘stash’ to raid had an wonderful selection of papers & embellishments to use. Mum bought some gorgeous teal products from Sawyer’s Place to help create our Teal challenge pack but I’ll get to that in a moment.

Saturday night we set up our space, organised tables and packs for our attendees – a teal ribbon and information about Ovarian Cancer plus a symptom diary.

Sunday morning, the day of our event. Our all dayers and the morning crowd arrived and were welcomed and given a run down of our morning schedule. We had a couple of quick quizzes to warm up the brains and just for a little bit of fun. Then the ladies were shown a demo of some gorgeous handmade cards and an idea for using calico and stamping to make some lovely, individual gift ribbon.

We then had our first challenge of the day – a blind scrap. The ladies were given a list of products and after about 10 minutes sat down so I could read them their steps. Some followed along pretty close, others added their own spin and a few did their own thing.

Lunchtime and a wonderful spread provided by mum and a few others. A group photo was taken once the afternoon group arrived and before our morning group had left

Mum shared with us that the day marked 3 years since she had her surgery and was given 18 months to 3 years. In Australia, the overall five year survival rate for women diagnosed with ovarian cancer is approximately 43% so fingers crossed we make it past the 5 years and beyond. This set me off – thanks pregnancy hormones so I had to have a quick teary break before struggling to read the first part of my afternoon speech discussing Ovarian Cancer and the symptoms. So after that slightly teary start to the afternoon our group got stuck into our Teal Challenge. It’s amazing to see how everyone created such a wide variety of pages were created using the same supplies (some seasoned scrappers who joined us added their own supplies) and the majority used the same photo.

Our pack consisted of a white cardstock base, some Sawyer’s Place sticky paper (I love this stuff), flair and washi tape plus some other pattern paper, teal ribbons and a teal ribbon sticker.

We finished of the day with afternoon tea. Lots of yummy goodies including a fruitcake made by mum, a delish mars bar slice and my Teal Ribbon cake, teal ribbon biscuits and teal cupcakes.

I must give a few thanks. To the lovely Ruth from Polly Scrap Kits who, apart from letting me share about Ovarian Cancer on the Polly Scrap site, added some teal products to the February kits (& had a teal add-on kit) AND donated 50c from each kit sold to our fundraising tally. To the local George Town businesses who donated prizes for our minor raffle. To Hawthorn Football Club and Phil Kuruvita who donated prizes for our major raffle which is being drawn at the end of April.

After speaking to Mum today so far our fundraising tally is sitting at $1738! Thank you to all who have donated so far. If you’d like to donate, you still can by going to my GoFundraise page

It’s harder if you care.

(Handing my blog over to the lovely Fiona today to share with you a little of what it’s like to live with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). May is BPD Awareness Month. Help eliminate the stigma and raise awareness of this serious condition by educating yourself and others.)

It’s harder if you care.

It causes me to drive you away. Please. I’m not worth it. Not worth your affection. All I’m going to do it hurt you and frankly fuck up your life, so get out now while you still can.

Fatal Attraction. Mad Love. Girl, Interrupted. Prozac Nation.

Choose your film.

Girls with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) are messed up, and are going to screw up your life.

At least that’s the media’s angle.

We’re way more likely to screw up our own.

What did this mean for me?

30 years old. My partner is my high school sweetheart. I’m a Speech Pathologist. I just got my masters in Inclusive education. I work with kids with disabilities in a specialist autism school.

And yet, I’m suicidal.

Regularly self harming. Cutting and drinking.

Sleeping around. Lies.

Trying to get my partner to break it off. Desperately.

And yet he won’t. He still loves me. Sees the good in me. Wants to help me.

We set boundaries. Well, he sets them , I agree.

And then break them.

He doesn’t know I’ve resumed my Bulimic behaviours. Enough to get a dual diagnosis.

That there’s more than he ever knew.

I ran away.

It was all I knew how to do.

I needed an out.

He broke it off. And he took me to hospital.

And got me help.

They diagnose Borderline Personality Disorder.

Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behaviour covered in (5).
A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation. This is called “splitting.”
Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.
Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behaviour covered in (5).
Recurrent suicidal behaviour, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behaviour.
Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).
Chronic feelings of emptiness.
Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).
Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

I fit this well.

Impulsive. Suicidal. Self harming. Bulimia. Not knowing who I am.

I have a long history of needing to be perfect. To not upset others. To be what someone else wants me to be. No matter what that is.

I play to the role. I can be whoever you want me to be, I just wish I knew who I wanted to be.

Not sustainable in the long run.

Today I am in twice weekly therapy through the centre for psychotherapy in Newcastle. Not all health systems have such a service, but you should look.

We’re working on me accepting me as a valid person. As having feelings, and THAT IS OKAY. Knowing where they come from. And knowing how I respond. In an aim to respond less extremely next time.

Accepting. And growing.

Technically I’m a functional adult.

I work. I study. I date. I’m a great friend and family member.

I just still melt down occasionally. All too much…

Borderline Personality Disorder can be managed. We can learn to accept and love ourselves.

It just takes time

And patience.

From me

And you.

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